Kim Kardashian Unleashes Singing

Initially I was afraid to listen to this song, not because I thought it would be terrible, but because I feared that it might be alright.

I was wrong. This autotuned trainwreck repeats the word “jam” and phrase “turn it up”, over and over and over. The sections that she sings for more than just a few words have far less autotune on them, and that’s when it gets really bad.

There’s no tambour to her voice, nothing special about it. No warmth, nothing.

I feel that I should say that the song itself is less than special, unmemorable even. Despite talking about telling the DJ to “turn it up”, it doesn’t have a good beat to it, and it doesn’t feel like a party song: it’s more of an “awkward-head-bopping-hoping-the-guys/girls-don’t-notice” song.

The song was produced by The Dream, premiered on Ryan Seacrest’s show this morning, and allegedly funds from the purchase of the single on iTunes will go to charity.

I’m actually a smidge depressed. I have to go get some Breyer’s peach ice cream to fill the void left in my soul.

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