What Makes a Music Video Bad

One of the many weird things that happens in the music video for Nicki Minaj’s “Stupid Hoe.”


About a week ago Meghan-Annette was watching a program on Fuse on sexy music videos when the show mentioned the music video for Lady Gaga’s “Alejandro.” This is not a music video either of us would associate with being sexy, especially since we placed it on our Worst Music Videos list for 2010. After watching a little bit of it on the television, Meghan-Annette asked if we could just name it the worst music video for this year and I said no, because there is a music video from this year that is truly worse.

On my way to meet Meghan-Annette at Union Station on Friday, I was listening to “Alejandro” on the train and realized that the awful music video it had ruined the song for me. While eating at our favorite fast food restaurant, we then questioned if a music video is truly bad if it ruins the song or if it’s a terrible video paired with a terrible song.

In 2010, our worst music video list had two videos above “Alejandro”: Breathe Carolina’s “IDGAF” and Ciara featuring Ludacris’ “Ride.” If we could redo the list, we’d probably put the video for “Abigail” by Motionless in White at number one because that video is really disturbing. The rest of the list had a Selena Gomez video and two videos from 30 Seconds to Mars where they’re really pretentious. Last year’s list had Lady Gaga being pretentious, Beyonce using sex appeal to defeat men, Rhianna doing S&M, Mariah Carey acting like a cougar around Justin Bieber and Adele moping in Paris (in Black and White). This year’s list currently includes an incredibly cliche video, a video that reminds us of the book “Methland,” a Selena Gomez video, Nicki Minaj doing stuff and a video so awful that I am refusing to watch it again until December. (It has cockroaches and rodents.)

Of these lists, there are only two videos where the song is brought down by the video and both videos feature songs by Lady Gaga. To be fair, “Born This Way” isn’t that great of a song to begin with, but the bizarre video makes the song even more annoying and preachy. This could be viewed as a problem with Gaga’s music videos, but the music video for “Judas” actually made the song more tolerable by having such a ridiculous video.

However, there are levels of awfulness. For example, I discovered with Meghan-Annette that the music video for “Alejandro” could actually be improved by our mother muting the song and narrating the video. Similarly, the music video for “Stupid Hoe” can be improved by muting the song and playing something else, like an ABBA song. (For maximum hilarity, play Kelly Clarkson’s “Because of You.”) But “Stupid Hoe” is so bad that it’s hilarious (and the song is awful) while “Alejandro” is awful and bloated. While watching it recently, I commented, “Oh God, there’s still three minutes left.”

The music video for “Alejandro” has more in common with a music video for a 30 Seconds to Mars song than a typical pop song. It’s a music video that is trying so hard to be art that it ends up feeling longer than necessary and like a joke. This is also the problem with the music video that’s currently in the position as “worst” on our list, but it’s also incredibly disturbing.

I personally feel that “Alejandro” is still not one of the worst music videos I’ve ever seen, but I can see that a music video making a song no longer be enjoyable could be a good criteria for a video to be considered the worst of a year. What do you think makes a music video bad?

2012
05/21
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“Are You My Mother?”

Alison Bechdel released a graphic memoir in 2006 entitled Fun Home, detailing her relationship with her closeted father who killed himself shortly after she came out as a lesbian. Prior to this, Bechdel had been best known for drawing the cult comic strip Dykes to Watch Out For, but Fun Home became a bestseller and was rightfully lauded.

Six years later, Bechdel’s follow up, Are You My Mother? has been released and is more of a triumph of literature than Fun Home was. The book is emotionally devastating while also utterly beautiful from front to back cover.

The book chronicles Bechdel’s relationship with her emotionally distant mother, Helen. Throughout the book, which skips around in time, she examines her childhood, therapy sessions, relationships and also the work of psychiatrist Donald Winnicott. There is a thorough analysis of her life and also Winnicott’s work in her latest book and it really feels like it is a book that she did need to write.

There is a bit of an uneasy feel while reading Are You My Mother? because of how much of the action takes place in recent history. The reader gets to see Bechdel sitting at her computer, typing up transcripts of conversations with her mother which inevitably makes one feel like they’re eavesdropping. In a way it feels like the voyeuristic feel of Fun Home when a reader sees panels of Bechdel masturbating as a girl or having oral sex with a girlfriend in college.

In many ways, Are You My Mother? is a much more relatable book as it deals with a woman who is an artist, in a way living the life her mother didn’t have due to her marriage. There are bound to be many women and possibly even men who will relate to this memoir because of living out the life our parents never were able to attain while also being distant from them and never really getting their approval.

But this book transcends that connection, like Fun Home did not have to be read just by lesbians with closeted gay dads or lesbians with closeted gay dads who killed themselves or people with closeted gay dads. (There are probably more combinations.) Are You My Mother? is an astounding piece of both art and writing that is a fascinating analysis of a relationship and a person’s psyche, while managing to intertwine the work of Virginia Woolf and Winnicott with the narrative.

There are probably few writers that could write a book as satisfying as the last one after a long gap, but Bechdel managed to outdo her last memoir and create what might be the first must-read book of 2012.

2012
05/02
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What is Italian for “What’s With the Glowing ‘A’?”

Wednesday night, Punching a Jayhawk attended the opening of the Lyric Opera of Chicago’s new production of Rinaldo.

Here’s what we have to say about it.

Monica Reida: I’m really hoping that other Handel operas are better written.

Meghan-Annette: I really have to agree with you on that. The opening was lethargic, and it was horribly anti-climactic.

I think that the cast did a very good job with what they were given.

Monica: The director, Francisco Negrin, also did a great job. There were some things that I thought were done very well that were obviously a result of the direction.

Meghan-Annette: The non-verbals. The set was very good.

Monica: This is one of the most visually interesting productions I’ve ever seen, but it was to a fault at some points. [Ed. note: This is where the glowing "A" comes into play.]

Meghan-Annette: I completely agree with that. There were times where I really wanted to focus on the book, but I couldn’t because the set and the costumes [both designed by Louis Desire] were distracting.

Monica: The Civic Opera is also a very large stage and the lack of an ensemble and set was distracting. The emptiness was taking away from the production.

Meghan-Annette: At least now we know what Jerusalem is in Italian. (For the record, apparently it is “Gerusalemme”)

Monica: At times, the massive set piece with “Gerusalemme” in giant letters was the most interesting part of the first act.

Meghan-Annette: In the opening, I could not hear specifically Goffredo (Sonia Prina) at all.

Monica: That was my problem for about the first three numbers.

Meghan-Annette: It was almost as though they didn’t have a feel for the acoustics of the Civic Opera.

I loved the villians, Armida (Elza Van Den Heever) and Argante (Luca Pisaroni).

Monica: Oh yes. Specifically Van Den Heever did a great job of being menacing, but also campy at times. If it had been a story just about Armida and Argante, we would be writing an entirely favorable review.

Meghan-Annette: Yes, but they weren’t the only good performances–

Monica: Yes, but Van Den Heever was a stand out.

Meghan-Annette: True, I was just going to say that I enjoyed Almirena’s (Julia Kleiter) aria that was sung when she was tied up. That was really the only part of her performance I enjoyed, as I felt that she was never actually in love with Rinaldo (David Daniels) and was in love with her father, Goffredo.

Monica: I felt that Prina did a wonderful job as Goffredo, conveying his anger and his caring, something I did not get from Rinaldo. Like when they came across the box containing Almirena, Daniels responded as “Oh, I’m supposed to care here.” To be fair, he has to be quite possibly the dullest protagonist ever written in an opera.

Meghan-Annette: I thought that the piano/box/liquor chest/dancer’s play thing was cool, especially when it started to shoot smoke. However, when Almirena was trapped inside the piano, I distinctly heard the trap door open, which took the magic out of the moment for me.

Monica: I did not hear the trap door.

Meghan-Annette: Also, posted in several places inside the Civic Opera building is their policy on not seating latecomers. If you come late, they say you will have to wait until intermission to be seated. Wednesday night, after the lights had gone down, even after the overture, they admitted at least two different couples. It was distracting, and I am disappointed that they did not uphold their own latecomer policy.

Overall, we thought that the first act was very boring and barely moved. The second act was fantastic and easily the best, but the third act was mediocre.

We would not recommend attending the production, especially considering the price of tickets.

Rinaldo runs February 29 through March 24. Tickets and more information can be found at lyricopera.org

The Federal Trade Commission (FTC, AFSCME, ABCDEFG…) requires all bloggers to alert you when we have received complementary tickets as members of the press. We did, and you may now consider yourself alerted.

2012
03/02
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54th Annual Grammy Awards

Hey, Captain Jack Harkness here.

Image

I was brought in by the delightful ladies at Punching A Jayhawk to watch the Grammy Awards because they felt I could be more objective and less bitter. I’m writing this all with the help of my love, my dear, Meghan-Annette. Any spelling, grammatical, or factual errors are entirely her fault.

Now onto our coverage of “Music’s biggest night!” Meh, we’ll see. Read more

2012
02/12
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Flipping the Bird and When Dirty Harry Met Detroit: A Guide to Super Bowl “Controversies”

There are three things people are talking about when it comes to the Super Bowl, as usual, and those are the topics of who won and lost, the halftime show and the ads. This year, there are two topics within the halftime show and the ads people are talking about, which would be M.I.A. giving the world the finger and Chrysler’s terrific ad.

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2012
02/06
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The Worst Music Videos of 2011

It’s the time of the year when we look back at the worst music videos of the year, although this year there weren’t as many music videos that made us feel uncomfortable. (Where’s 30 Seconds to Mars when you need them?) Now we here at Punching a Jayhawk will present what we thought were the worst music videos of the year.

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2011
12/31
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Best Music Videos of 2011

So it’s that time of the year again. The time of the year where everyone shares what they think mattered the most about the year. This is my list of my 10 favorite music videos that were released in the year 2011. They range from the prosthetics to puppets, happy to sad. This is the kind “Year End List” that we here at Punching a Jayhawk produce.

See the list after the break:

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2011
12/31
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A Review of Drinking a Non-Alcoholic Beverage in the Palmer House Lobby

After a long day at work or just needing to relax and maybe do some reading, sitting in the elegant, classic lobby of the Palmer House Hotel in downtown Chicago is exactly what a person needs. On a nice Wednesday evening in December, I decided to sit down in the lobby to enjoy a drink (non-alcoholic) after my earlier plan for the evening fell through.

In the lobby there are comfortable brown leather chairs with tall backs that allow a visitor sink in while still looking refined and poised. While sitting one can hear classic Christmas songs faintly playing as background music while people chatter, still muffled in the large lobby.

The drinks are made by the bar at Lockwood, the hotel’s restaurant, although the hotel also has Potter’s Lounge which I’ve never been to. The selections for non-alcoholic beverages are the basil lemonade, pomegranate lemon drop and the Arnold Palmer. On the night I was there, the basil lemonade was unavailable, so I tried the pomegranate lemon drop.

A particular problem that comes in with drinks that have a sour ingredient is finding a balance. Sometimes a drink that contains lemon as an ingredient can be too sour, causing one to have a face of disgust as they try drinking more. The pomegranate lemon drop manages to have a good balance with flavors, leading one to realize that pomegranate and lemon actually do go together well. The drink also comes in a rather unique looking glass (see the picture above) that managed to be quite easy to pick up.

While in Chicago a visit to the lobby of the Palmer House should be considered since it is a good place to relax while enjoying a well-made drink. A suggestion though is to dress nicely because it’s easy to feel underdressed in the opulent hotel.

All non-alcoholic drinks are $8. The Palmer House Hotel is located on State St. Between Monroe and Adams.

2011
12/22
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It’s The American Music Awards!

After the last post, things need to be classed up around here. Unfortunately, the American Music Awards are all that’s happening right now, so you’ll have to wait for things to get classier.

So here’s what went down.

(In CST)

7:00 PM – Nicki Minaj and David Guetta kick off the show. Ms. Minaj has speakers attached to her butt. Oh cool! They wrapped rope lights around her. Don’t really know why.

7:07 PM – Pop Rock group is the first award given out to Maroon 5, their first AMA ever. Ever.

7:14 PM – Hot Chelle Rae gives the award for Country Female. Fun fact, I saw Hot Chelle Rae open for the band The Rocket Summer a couple of years ago or something. They were fantastic, so I suggest getting into them. Oh, Taylor Swift won. Shocker.

7:16 PM – Seriously though, I think Taylor is the only one who is ever surprised when she wins.

7:17 PM – Justin Bieber performs the song “Mistletoe” from his Christmas album. Also, will.i.am wants that jacket back. I’m serious, that thing is ridiculously ugly. Who let this kid walk out of the dressing room like this?

7:20 PM – The Band Perry performs. I thought they were in their teens, so I’m surprised. The lead singer was wearing an amazing dress. They performed the song “If I Die Young”.

7:28 PM – I think they guy meant 50 Cent, but it sounded like Billy Send. Oh, Chris Brown is performing. He was a better dancer before he beat the shit out of his girlfriend.

7:33 PM – Jennifer Hudson gives the award for Favorite Hip-Hop Artist to Nicki Minaj. Nicki needed help getting to the mic to accept the award because her shoes are too tall. Yeah.

7:37 PM – Kelly Clarkson performs her new single “Mr. Know It All”.

7:45 PM – Favorite Soul/R&B Album goes to Rihanna for her album Loud.

7:47 PM – Enrique Iglesias performs with a high school choir. Totally had to look up the spelling of his name. The second song that he performed is the radio edit of the song “Tonight (I’m F**king You)”.

7:59 PM – Jennifer Lopez performs. She jumped in a Fiat in the middle of the performance, which was just weird. Also, when you’re a mature woman, just wearing some sequins is tacky.

8:05 PM – Nickelback came onstage to present an award; I think the crowd is booing them. And the award for Favorite Country Duo/Group went to Lady Antebellum.

8:13 PM – One Republic performed “Good Life”.

8:18 PM – Favorite Rap/Hip-Hop album is presented by Taylor Swift to Nicki Minaj for her amazing album Pink Friday. She has to be helped up to the stage this time too.

8:21 PM – Pitbull performs with Lil’ Jon and Marc Anthony. It rained onstage. And no, I’m not talking about money.

8:31 PM – Katy Perry montage before the Katy Perry Performance. She’s performing her new song that I can never remember. Oh yeah, “The One That Got Away”. Got away from my memory, apparently.

8:36 PM – Heidi Klum presents a special award to Katy Perry for the number of #1′s she’s had.

8:38 PM – AHHHHH!!! Joe Jonas is presenting Sprint New Artist of the Year!! Disclaimer: I voted 500 times for Hot Chelle Rae. And they win!!!

8:40-8:53 PM – Jennifer Lopez wins an award for Favorite Latin Artist. Mary J. Blige performs. I’m sorry, I was taking care of my laundry and missed a bunch.

8:54 PM – Favorite Soul/R&B Female goes to Beyoncè. She couldn’t be there, since she’s preggers.

9:01 PM – Maroon 5 and Christina Aguilera perform “Moves Like Jagger”. Christina’s dress is too small and she’s the wrong shape for it. At least Adam Levine looks hot.

9:04 PM – Gym Class Heroes and Adam Levine perform “Stereo Hearts”. Adam Levine still looks hot.

9:20 PM – Bruno Mars beat out Pitbull and Justin Bieber for Favorite Male Pop-Rock Artist. At first it’s surprising, but then I started to wonder if this is the beginning of the word “DOOM” for Bieber.

9:27 PM – Favorite Country Album goes to Taylor Swift for her album Speak Now. Taylor is once again, surprised. But she’s  less emphatically surprised.

9:38 PM – Jenny McCarthy is really annoying. Jennifer Lopez wore more spandex when she performed with will.i.am. I wonder if this performance looks better with full color on the television. I ask because it looks really weird to me. Also, Mick Jagger.

9:43 PM – Favorite Pop-Rock album goes to Adele for her album 21.

9:49 PM – Artist of the Year is presented by Lionel Richie to Taylor Swift. Taylor Swift is Surprised.

9:52 PM – The final performance of the evening is sponsered by Old Navy. LMFAO is performing their hit “Party Rock Anthem”. Everybody in the audience was given cool sunglasses for the performance. Lots of glitter and lights and sparkle and energy. Justin Bieber performed with them in tiger print pants.

9:56 PM – Wait, they aren’t done. “Sexy And I Know It”. Amazing. And now no one is wearing pants. And now David Hasselhoff is onstage. And now the Hoff isn’t wearing pants.

So that’s the end of the 2011 American Music Awards.

2011
11/20
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“Cool Penis”

There have recently been quite a few bad lip reading videos floating around the internet involving bad lip reading. Cobra Starship did a bad lip reading video that’s pretty good and we really can’t find a bad part of this. Take a watch.

2011
11/07
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